The Ultimate Guide to Using PACE

The Ultimate Guide to PACE: A Transformational Approach for Foster Carers

Build trust, connection, and emotional security with children through Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy.

For children in care, connection is the foundation of healing. By using PACE, you can help children feel safe enough to trust, regulate their emotions, and form healthy relationships.

Understanding & Supporting Foster Children Can Be Challenging

Children in care often struggle with trust, emotional regulation, and attachment due to past trauma and instability. Many have developed defensive behaviours as a way to protect themselves from further hurt.

As a foster carer, you may find yourself wondering:

  • Why do they push me away when I try to help?
  • How can I help them feel safe and connected?
  • Why does discipline often seem to make things worse?

 

The PACE approach, developed by Dr. Dan Hughes, is a powerful framework designed to help children feel safe, valued, and understood—so they can begin to trust and heal.

What is PACE & Why Is It So Effective?

PACE stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy—four essential elements that help children build trust and regulate emotions.

Why PACE Works for Foster Children:

  • Creates Safety – Helps children lower their defences and feel secure in relationships.
  • Builds Emotional Regulation – Helps children manage difficult feelings without fear or shame.
  • Encourages Open Communication – Creates a space where children feel safe to express themselves.
  • Strengthens Attachments – Supports carers in forming strong, trusting bonds with children who have experienced trauma.

 

Traditional discipline methods often increase shame and fear, pushing children further away. PACE offers a relationship-first approach, where connection comes before correction.

In this downloadable resource, you’ll learn:

  1. The Foundations of PACE – Learn how Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy create emotional security and trust.
  2. A Step-by-Step Guide to Implementing PACE – Practical ways to apply PACE in daily interactions, including mealtimes, transitions, and difficult moments.
  3. How to Use PACE in Challenging Situations – How to respond with connection-first strategies during emotional outbursts, shutdowns, and defiance.
  4. Scripts & Practical Examples – Ready-to-use phrases to help de-escalate conflict and encourage trust in anxious or withdrawn children.
  5. The Role of Connection Before Correction – Why discipline must come after emotional safety, and how to set boundaries without triggering fear or shame.
  6. Real-Life Case Studies – Stories of how PACE has transformed relationships between carers and children, helping them feel valued, heard, and safe.

Click the blue button below to Download the Guide

Our goal is to enhance quality of life for everyone with a compelling emphasis on the benefits of healthy, therapeutic relationships.